Are their different kinds of relationship problems?

Friendships should be supportive, respectful and based on common interests. But sometimes jealousy, possessiveness and control issues can threaten to �break up� a non-romantic friendship. Try talking with your friend about why the friendship isn�t working for you anymore. If they wont take the time to listen and try to work things out, you may realize you have outgrown this friendship. It is hard to admit this and, sometimes, losing a friend can lead to feelings of grief or depression. It�s important to remember that as you grow and change, so will your interests and your choice of friends.

What is a relationship?

Are there different kinds of relationships?

Do I have a problem relationship?

How do I get help?

How can Nineline help me?

meet a Covenant House kid

visit our forum on relationships

download info on relationships (pdf)

abuse information for caregivers

Dating a boyfriend or girlfriend is an important experience similar to getting to know a friend. A good relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend is based on mutual respect, shared interests and sexual attraction. Although dating doesn�t have to be about sex � think of it as a chance to get to know someone you have a romantic interest in.

Sometimes relationships with a boyfriend or girlfriend go sour. Jealousy, possessiveness, anger or issues of power and control can spoil the romance. You and your partner may be mature enough to talk about these problems and work them out by yourselves or with the help of someone you trust. Generally, dating should be an exciting and happy time so, if you and your partner don�t have the skills to work things out, be careful not to settle for a "problem relationship" where one partner emotionally or physically abuses the other.

If your relationship gets out of control, here are a few tips:

Tell a trusted adult immediately, and ask for help getting out of the relationship.
If you are afraid of your partner, try not to go places by yourself.
Don't let your partner enter your home or car when no one else is around.
Call 911 if you need immediate help to keep you safe.
Contact your local domestic violence agency. They can offer counseling, legal advocacy (for help in pressing charges or getting an order of protection), and other services.
Call the Nineline to talk or find an agency in your area: 1-800-999-9999.

Authority figures, like a teacher, boss, religious mentor, sitter, stepparent, parent�s boyfriend or girlfriend, a counselor or other staff in a foster or group home, can sometimes take advantage of their authority. Normally these are people you should look up to and trust to help you make important decisions in your life as a teenager. But if an authority figure is emotionally or physically abusive, you need to tell someone you trust. When someone under the age of 18 is physically, sexually or emotionally hurt or taken advantage of by someone responsible for protecting them, it is considered child abuse. The abuse may happen only once, but often it will continue until you or someone else tells someone who can help.

Cults are difficult to recognize, difficult to resist and even more difficult to leave. There are different kinds of cults � religious, satanic/ritual, new age, political and commercial. They use similar techniques to control their members including extreme peer pressure to make you feel like you belong. They also use isolation, sleep deprivation, sensory overload and poor nutrition to put you into an accepting, non-questioning state of mind to better control you. If you join a cult, you may find yourself in a situation where you have no control over your life, your finances or your relationship with friends and family outside the cult. You might even experience negative physical and psychological side-effects. The best way to avoid this is to resist joining but once you�ve joined, you will need to find someone you trust to help you find the strength to leave. Gangs also prey on vulnerable, insecure kids who want to "belong" to a "family" of their peers. But once you join, you are subjected to a lot of controlling behavior aimed at making you participate in illegal, sometimes violent, activities.

Approximately 37% of students reported a gang presence in their schools. If you feel that there is a problem with gang presence in your school, here are some steps you can take:

Tell an adult. Don't worry about telling on your peers - by notifying someone in a position of authority, you could be preventing some young people from getting hurt.
In general, avoid gangs and gang members. Do not hang out where they do. Do not have friends who are members of gangs. Do not emulate them in any way: their manner of dressing (their colors), their handshakes, their signals, their lifestyles. If you want nothing to do with them, then have nothing to do with them.
Respect yourself and others equally. Many gang members place a high priority on respect, and offering this respect and recognition could help you out of a difficult situation. Show self-respect by refusing to be baited into a fight, or by accepting a compromise to a dispute.
Act confident. Gang members look for people who appear vulnerable or timid. By looking confident and secure, even if you are only pretending to feel that way, you will not be identified as a target.
Avoid going places alone. Gangs prefer to intimidate shy, quiet loners, not groups of people.
Whenever possible, walk away from a confrontation. If you cannot walk away, try to de-escalate the situation by remaining calm, using humor, or just say that you really cannot get into this right now.
Never argue with someone who is armed or under the influence. Someone like this is too unpredictable.
NEED TO TALK? Call the NINELINE - Hotline at 1-800-999-9999 (TTY: 1-800-999-9915), or e-mail us. It's free, it's confidential, it's 24/7, and it's for you! Hablamos Español.