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Are you or a friend coping with a family conflict like separated, divorced, drug addicted, abused or abusive parents?
family
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Are you or a friend coping with a problem friendship, boyfriend, girlfriend, authority figure, cult or gang?
relationships
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Are you or a friend coping with poor self-esteem, stress, anxiety, loneliness, grief, anger or depression?
feelings
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Are you or a friend coping with depression or thoughts of suicide?
suicide
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Are you or a friend coping with a lack of basic needs like food, clothing, housing, employment, or trouble at school?
basic needs
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Are you or a friend coping with prejudice, neglect, emotional, physical or sexual abuse, survival sex, prostitution, domestic violence or crime?
abuse
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Are you or a friend coping with a physical disability, sexually transmitted disease (STD), HIV/AIDS, self-harm, a psychiatric or eating disorder?
health
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Are you or a friend coping with questions about sexuality, sexual hygiene, a pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease (STD) or HIV/AIDS?
sex
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Are you or a friend coping with tobacco, alcohol, street drugs or prescription drugs?
drugs & alcohol
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Are you or a friend coping with thoughts of leaving home, running away or are you already homeless?
running away
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It's free. It's 24/7. It's for you.
Is it my fault?
The Abuse is Not Your Fault. Many kids come to believe that the abuse is their fault, even when the abuser uses threats, bribes, or other ways to get you to go along.
What is child abuse?
Are their different kinds of abuse?
Am I being abused?
Why am I being abused?
Is it my fault?
How do I get help?
How can Nineline help me?
meet a Covenant House kid
visit our forum on abuse
download info on abuse (pdf)
abuse information for caregivers
This thinking is wrong. Here are some reasons why kids may blame themselves:
For years you've been taught to respect and listen to your parents and other adults. Now your parents tell you that you deserve to be punished because you did something bad or because you are not good. With sexual abuse, the abuser may say that they are just teaching you about sex or that they are showing you how much they love you. (Remember -- love and affection should not be expressed between parents and children in sexual ways.)
Its easy to blame yourself. If you believe that you're causing your parents to hit you, then you'll also believe that you have some control and can stop it. "If only I act good, Mom won't have to hit me." After all, if you depend on your parents for love and support, then it's scary to think that the very people you need and love can be so hurtful to you and can betray you like this. You may find yourself trying to make excuses for your parents.
But remember, you are not alone.
Abuse occurs in all kinds of families; all races; rich and poor. Some young people were abused for most of their lives -- since they were babies or young children. For others, the abuse started when they became teens. In fact, 24% of abuse victims are 12 years old and over.
So if you are being abused, you should know that you are not alone. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you -- even if you went along with the abuse. Most kids do for a while.